Not Another Star Wars Movie
by Princess Srah
Summary: What the Star wars characters talk about on their spare time and my take on relation ships a definate AU. Well my Friend katetopia helped me make this... she has the humor!!! R&R !! THANKIES
1. Talking and Stuff

Not Another Star Wars Movie.  
  
No nothing belongs to me just the brilliant George Lucas so don't sue me.. Okay on with the story. By the way most of this is just fluff. Well anyways enjoy!  
  
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.  
  
All of the Star Wars people are at Corasaunt discussing why the Jedi hairstyle is so unattractive. Just then Qui-Gon walked in and everyone stared blankly at him.  
  
Qui-Gon: What's the matter it looks like y'all seen a ghost?  
  
Obi-Wan: Yeah, that's about right.  
  
Qui-Gon: What ghost?  
  
Padme: Um, not to put it harshly but you've been dead for 10 years.  
  
Obi-Wan: Yeah, ever since that encounter with Darth Maul you. just weren't all there.  
  
Anakin: Um. where am I in this conversation?  
  
Everyone stares at Anakin and then just presumes to what they were talking about.  
  
Qui-Gon: Um.just say something and. you'll be in the "conversation".  
  
Anakin: Okay.so has anyone ever seen a pod race?  
  
Obi-Wan: Wrong movie.that was episode 1. In witch I looked alot better in.  
  
Just then some chick walks in.  
  
Chick: Sorry I'm late.  
  
George Lucas: Who the H--- are you?!  
  
Chick: I am Sabe, and I was in episode one if anyone cares. I wanted to talk to you guys Padme invited me.  
  
Obi-wan whispers to Anakin: D!$% she's hott!!!  
  
Anakin: Hey woman! Obi thinks your hott!  
  
Sabe: O. now who is this "Obi" you speak of?  
  
Padme: Oh sorry I didn't introduce any one okay, this is Anakin.Jedi apprentice and loud mouth, but somehow attractive.  
  
Anakin: Yo, nice to meet you.(points to Obi) this is Obi-wan Kenobi and he's my.master (Sabe starts laughing hysterically) Okay so.... what do you think of him, pretty cute, huh?  
  
Obi: Anakin you little @#$%&^&*())(+^#$%$&&()!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sabe: Oh, you're Obi.  
  
Obi: That's my name don't where it out.  
  
Sabe: Of course I wont.  
  
Obi: Okay then.  
  
Anakin: Are you guys going to kiss or what?!  
  
Padme (Whispers to Anakin): Don't rush them.they only met 2 minutes ago.  
  
Anakin: Well if I don't hook them up now they'll never be together.  
  
Padme: How can you be so sure?  
  
Anakin: Well let's see. I knew you for how long and you still won't go out with me.  
  
(everyone stares at Anakin)  
  
Qui-Gon: Now I'm glad to be a ghost.  
  
Sabe: Don't I have a say-so in this.  
  
Obi: Don't worry about it, they're talking about us but it's no big deal.  
  
Anakin: Well at least she likes you a little, for me there's no such luck.  
  
Padme: Shut up Anakin.  
  
Anakin: See, she hates me.  
  
Padme: And your point is?  
  
Anakin: Nothing.  
  
Obi: You such a looser.  
  
Sabe: What a looser.(Smiles at Obi)  
  
Qui-Gon: Are you sure you two aren't going out or something?  
  
(Sabe & Obi-Wan shrug their shoulders.)  
  
Qui-Gon: This story is for the birds.  
  
Obi: Sabe, Will you go out with me?  
  
Sabe: Yeah, I was waiting for that.  
  
(Anakin starts to cry : MOMMY!!!!)  
  
Padme: What wrong Anakin.  
  
Anakin: He got a girl before me and I look so much better than him, it's not fair I tell you!  
  
Padme: You'll get one someday-just not anytime soon I think.  
  
Anakin: How Rude!!!!!!!  
  
(Jar- Jar walks in)  
  
Padme: Oh God, not Jar-Jar.  
  
Jar-Jar: Me-sa back now , okeyday.  
  
Anakin: Can I kill him?  
  
Qui-Gon: No, we need him to um.I can think of an excuse right now give me a minute.  
  
Anakin: All right but if I hear another complaint from Padme it's his head.  
  
Padme: You can't do that, wait, Jar-Jar is being annoying.  
  
Anakin: okay that's all I needed.(pulls out his light saber)  
  
Qui-Gon: WAIT!!! We need him to get us some drinks, yeah that's it , drinks.  
  
Jar-Jar: Mesa no likin dis.  
  
Anakin: (laughs in a evil way)  
  
( Obi looks at Anakin, then at Sabe)  
  
Obi: I'm going to go sit by Sabe cause Anakin is going to the dark side again.  
  
Padme: Okay  
  
Qui-Gon: Whatever. By the way, Jar-Jar....when you getting those drinks?  
  
Jar-Jar: Um....hopefully never.  
  
Padme: You're not going to turn evil on us right Anakin?  
  
Anakin: No guaranties there, I mean why wouldn't I, The person I like hates me, my momma's dead, And Obi wan is getting all the girls!!!  
  
Padme: I never said I hated you.  
  
Anakin: And I never said I liked you.  
  
Everyone but Padme and Anakin: OOOOO.Harsh!!!!  
  
Padme looks at Anakin, Anakin looks at Obi and Obi looks at Sabe, Sabe looks at Jar-Jar and Jar- Jar looks at Qui-Gon, Qui- Gon looks at Padme and Padme is still looking at Anakin.  
  
Finally Padme stands up and says  
  
Padme: I'm not sure why I'm looking at Anakin, Anakin why are you looking at Obi, Obi I "get" why your looking at Sabe, Sabe I know you want to kill Jar-Jar, Jar-Jar is probably gay with Qui-Gon, And I'm about to slap Qui- Gon for looking at me.  
  
Padme takes a deep breath and plops on the couch.  
  
Padme looks at Obi and Sabe.  
  
Padme: Now I really get why you were looking at Sabe.  
  
Anakin: EWWWWWW!!!!!! THEY'RE KISSING!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Padme: That's normal.  
  
Anakin: Wanna try?  
  
Padme: No.Jar-Jar is available.  
  
Jar-Jar: Mesa?  
  
Padme: Yes "Yousa" 


	2. Genesis

Genesis  
  
Jar-Jar: Mesa- likin' dis berry berry much.  
  
Padme: I hope you know I was just kidding!  
  
Jar-Jar : POODOO!!!  
  
Anakin: So if you were just kidding you sure you don't wanna try, just once with me, off stage just you and me.  
  
Padme: No, I'll pass  
  
Obi: Sabe and I are gonna go and see episode 2 later you guys Wanna come?  
  
Anakin; Yeah sure what time?  
  
Sabe: Around 9:45.  
  
Padme: Okay  
  
Just then Han and Leia walked in  
  
Padme: Um how did you guys get here, especially Leia.you're not even born?  
  
Leia: Um I don't actually know my self but I'm here.  
  
Padme: So do u guys wanna go see episode 2 with all of us?  
  
Han: Yeah that would be cool.  
  
Anakin: So Han are you going out with Leia?  
  
Han: Yeah.why?  
  
Anakin: AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe that Han got Leia and I don't have anyone!!!!!!!!! This is so not cool!!!  
  
Padme: Quit you're whining!  
  
Anakin: If you go to the movies with me I'll stop.  
  
Padme: Anything, as long as you stop!  
  
Anakin: SCORE!!!!!!!!  
  
Jar-Jar: Mesa goin' out with Weasel.  
  
Anakin: You're going out with a Weasel?  
  
Jar-Jar: No Zam Weasel .she Sa bounty hunta. everyone just calls her Weasel for short.  
  
Anakin: Is she a weasel?  
  
Jar-Jar: NO!  
  
Anakin: Okay then so Padme what time you want me to pick you up?  
  
Padme: is 8:50 okay?  
  
Anakin: Yeah, 8:50 then.  
  
Padme: Yup.  
  
Obi and Sabe walk out of the room holding hands.  
  
Leia: Aw! They're so cute!  
  
Han: Yeah but we're a better couple and been together longer.  
  
Anakin: See you guys there!  
  
Padme: Now don't have "too" much fun!  
  
Jar-Jar: Mesa going to getsa weasel now!  
  
Padme: BYE!!!!!!! Now go away!  
  
Jar-Jar: HOW WRUDE!!!!  
  
Jar-Jar goes out of the room.  
  
Anakin: So Padme do you have a ride home?  
  
Padme: I can just catch a transport like I was planning to.  
  
Anakin: You can go with me.  
  
Padme: COOL! I love your speeder!!!!!!!  
  
They get in Anakin's vehicle and dive out toward Padme's home. Just the song: "Days Go By", by: Dirty Vegas comes on the radio. And Padme starts doing this robot dance like all techno and stuff. They finally get to Padme's house.  
  
Anakin: Were here.  
  
Padme: Thanks Anakin.  
  
Anakin: See ya at 8:30.  
  
Padme: Later.  
  
Anakin drove off in his speeder. Later at 8:50.  
  
Anakin walked up to the door and knocked .  
  
Padme: Hey Anakin  
  
Anakin: Ready?  
  
Padme: Yup, maybe this won't be as bad as I thought.  
  
They got in Anakin's speeder and drove to the movies. They finally got there when as soon as padme got out.... 


	3. At the Movies

At the Movies  
  
A big group of Anakin fans (including myself) jumped out and started tackling Anakin.  
  
Padme: EXCUZZZE!!!!!!!!!!!! ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
They all got up and walked away making crude remarks about Padme.  
  
Leia: Finally you guys got here!  
  
Han: Yeah really where were you?  
  
Anakin: Traffic.  
  
Obi: Lets go already!  
  
They all walk up to the concession stand. Obi-wan orders first.  
  
Obi: I'll have a large popcorn with extra butter and a large code red mountain dew for me and the lady here.  
  
Han whispers to Leia: Don't you think that's a bit much?  
  
Leia just smiled trying to hold back overwhelming laughter.  
  
Han: Okay we'll have............  
  
Worker lady with pms: WHAT DO YOU WANT I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU @$$OLES  
  
Leia: That's it get out here I'm gonna kick yo @$$ right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Leia and this chick with pms get into a HUGE chick fight Anakin says.  
  
Anakin: DUDE I WANT SOME POPCORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
They all look at Anakin and just keep on rambling.  
  
Padme: Are you guys coming or not?  
  
Han: Wait I'll get her. Leia they have a sale on house supplies in theater number three hurry you might be able to get the last blue and green lampshade.  
  
Leia gets up and runs into the AOTC Theater.  
  
Leia: HEY, there is no "BIG" sale in here.  
  
Han: well duh, I had to get you to stop fighting some how.  
  
Leia: ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I SEE!!!!  
  
They walk down the movie aisle as if they were getting married all over again.  
  
Sabe: AWW!!! HOW SWEET!!!  
  
So Obi and her do the exact same thing (don't ask me how Obi held all of that food in one hand). So next here comes Anakin acting all depressed cuz the pms lady wouldn't give him any popcorn. Anakin holds out his hand for Padme and she says..  
  
Padme: Don't EVEN think about it!!!!!!  
  
They all finally sit down and watch those boring clips of rising stars when Hayden Christensen comes on.  
  
Anakin: HEY that's me!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Padme: No really I thought that was me!!!!  
  
Finally the movie starts.  
  
Padme: Who the hell is that ugly freak riding up the elevator with you Anakin?  
  
Obi: Um..That's me!!!  
  
Padme: Well that explains alot.  
  
Obi starts laughing in a sarcastic way when Anakin finally looks over and realizes that Obi isn't paying much attention to the movie but more attention to Sabe's lips.  
  
Anakin: THEY'RE KISSING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone else: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH down in front!!!!!!  
  
Finally everyone stares at Leia and Han for the reason that they're.  
  
FIND OUT IN CHAPTER 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm evil Hahahahahahhaha!!!!!!!! J/k R&R!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!! ~ Sarah 


	4. AOTE Attack of the Employees

Chapter 4 AOTE (Attack of the Employees)  
  
Previews from last chapter.  
  
Finally everyone stares at Han and Leia for the reason that they're . ________________Now on to this chapter.  
  
Because they're talking about how gay these people are and that they want to go somewhere "alone".  
  
Obi: excuse me, what's you peoples issue about me and all my other homies.  
  
Leia: nothing we're gonna go now bye.  
  
Leia and Han left the movie theater and now the only people left were .  
  
Anakin  
  
Padme  
  
Obi-Wan  
  
Sabe  
  
And for some reason Jar-Jar never showed up but I don't want to speak to soon.  
  
Sabe: Isn't it strange that they just leave the movie they came to see?  
  
Anakin: Are you sure that's all they came for?  
  
Obi-Wan: Dude your gross!  
  
Padme: I know seriously!  
  
Anakin: What???? I meant they coulda came for the popcorn too.geez.  
  
Everybody smacks his or her head.  
  
Anakin: OOOOOOOO!!! This is my favorite scene!!!  
  
Obi: Duh.  
  
Sabe: You get to kiss.O MY GOD!  
  
Anakin: Not exactly.  
  
Padme: I think she means, " O my God look who's here!"  
  
Anakin: OH no It's.  
  
Obi: JAR-JAR!  
  
Anakin: Can I kill him?!?! NOW!  
  
Qui-Gon: No! We need him to um unclog the toilets.  
  
Anakin: Hey down in front SHUT UP!  
  
Jar-Jar walks by everyone in depression.  
  
Jar-Jar: Messa dumped by Weasel.(pouts).  
  
Anakin: I can see why.  
  
Jar-Jar: Why dere sa no problemes wit messa! Is dere?  
  
Padme: GO AWAY!  
  
Jar-Jar: NO, NO messa stay messa like you.  
  
Padme: You like me?  
  
Jar- Jar: Messa like you berry berry much!  
  
Padme starts gagging.  
  
Jar-Jar starts crying then runs out. Just then. out of the blue.through time and space. and all that other crap.Jango Fett comes in.  
  
Padme: Oh god were never gonna see this movie are we.aint that right Sabe?  
  
Sabe: I can see it anytime I want.right now I'm kissin' Obi.  
  
Anakin: And they are kissing too!..............Where's Anakin's love?  
  
Padme: In the dumpster.  
  
Anakin: That's what I thought.  
  
Just then.Jango took the seat behind Padme.and had flowers behind his back. Suddenly. Padme started to stretch her arms.and punched Jango right in the kisser.at that moment a voice came over intercom.and said. the  
  
popcorn stand is now open reapeat the popcorn stand is OFFICIALY open." 


	5. Sno Wars!

Snow wars!!!!! RAH!!! Error! *cough*  
  
Anakin: Popcorn!!!! YaY! Come on Padme we can see this movie anytime lets go get some popcorn!!!  
  
Padme: Whatever! As long as we get extra butter!!!  
  
Anakin: Okay! Lets go!  
  
Padme and Anakin got popcorn and left the movie cuz they couldn't stand seeing Sabe and Obi make-out anymore. They walked out of Anakin's speeder and realized it was snowing. Anakin picked up a snowball and threw it at Padme! Padme returned the favor .some how the emperor came and tried to kill Anakin.  
  
Emperor: Join me! Grrrr!!!  
  
Anakin: okay!  
  
Padme: no you can't!  
  
Anakin: why not?  
  
Padme: I love.  
  
Anakin: Me?????????!!!!!!!!  
  
Padme: no the emperor! Of course you! You're so stupid!  
  
Anakin: Of course I am! Duh! Umm Emperor Can I catch ya some other time I have to go do some business but I'll give you a call maybe tomorrow? (Suddenly sounds like James Earl Jones)  
  
Padme: That was Freaky!!!  
  
Emperor: Yeah Dude, I'll get back to you later man! Peace-out!  
  
Padme and Anakin kiss.  
  
3po comes on the screen  
  
3PO: This is not for children's eyes! I'll turn on Barney!  
  
Suddenly Barney comes on!  
  
Barney: Hey Kiddies!  
  
Kids: Hi Barney!!!  
  
All of a sudden Jar-jar comes on and says Barney has been fired cuz jar-jar is now the most annoying soon to be extinct animal!  
  
Obi (off screen): You people are crazy!!!  
  
*A/n This chapter sux I wrote this at 4:00 in the morning I'm tired nighty- night! I'll try something better tomorrow I haven't written anything for several months and I'm just getting back into the swing of things! Sorry! Deeply Sorry,  
  
~*~Sarah~*~ 


End file.
